The Value of Words

I think it was my last speech teacher (in a class entitled, “Business Communications”), that harped and harped and harped on the “value” of words.

“Do NOT ever use a 25 cent word when a dime word will do.  And, unless you want to seem a pompous arse, NEVER use a dollar word unless absolutely necessary.”

(This was her idea of excusing those in the scientific and medical communities.)

So, for example, you would opt for “sunroom” rather than “solarium”.

I have spent a good deal of time this weekend going over economic stuff.  Let me just say, to all economist authors that I have thus far come across, I happen to know a fantastic “Business Communications” course that you would be well-advised to take!

Because, honestly, if you can’t describe it simply I have a hard time believing that even you understand what you are saying!

Mother’s Day Wishes

I pulled this quote from Facebook today,

“So most moms on Mother’s Day want … chocolate, flowers, a card, etc.”

Really???  Do they?  Have you asked???  Or are you basing that on the plethora of superb marketing out there?  (So superb, in fact, that I think many mothers do want those things because advertisers tell them they do.)

I have actually never been asked what I would like for Mother’s Day.  Isn’t that strange?  Stranger still, now that I think about it, I don’t believe I’ve ever asked my own mother what she would wish for Mother’s Day.  (Need to rectify that.)

However, if my children were to ask this is what I would say:

Personally, I do not ever want a card.  Save a limb, or a twig, or just the $2-$3 in your pocket.  Even if the sentiment is more eloquently written than you could possibly pull off and you honestly “feel” that way; it isn’t “from” you.  I’d rather the bumbling verbiage, or merely a hug.

Please, please, please do not get me cut flowers!  To be perfectly honest, I’ll forget to change their water daily.  They will wilt quickly and your father will pitch a complete hissy that I am not properly taking care of things that are already in the process of dying.

Oh, and don’t get me live flowers either, unless they are to go into the yard.  If you are truly my child you’ll know darn well that I will not remember to water them regularly unless they are in my sight. (Unlike children they don’t remind me to ”feed” them.)  Again, I’ll have to suffer the fussing, only this time I’ll feel bad because the plants would be dying due to my negligence.

Chocolates are always nice. . .   But let’s face it, I’m the shopper; I have a stash.  As you all well know because you  are constantly raiding it!

Do not get me perfume!  Pregnancies made my nose all crazy with regard to smells, and that particular symptom hasn’t dissipated.  Should I ever need to chuck my guts though, that would probably be the quickest and cheapest route to get results.

I don’t wish to get jewelry either.  I don’t wear a lot of it, and I have very particular taste.  Save your time and money.

Please don’t take me shopping!  Torture is never considered an expression of love.  (I honestly do not suffer any illusions that any of my children would actually consider this.  They are all male after all.  However, should they ask for someone else’s idea on what they should do for Mother’s Day, someone may actually suggest such a thing.)

As to what I would want. . .

There were times in the past when all I wanted, more than anything on Mother’s Day, was for your father to take you all away for the day.  I desperately wanted peace and quiet!  I never asked for it, because I felt guilty.  Yet, that was utterly silly.  Not only was I (still am) a stay-at-home mom, I was also (still am) a homeschool mom.  I see you EVERY DAY / HOUR of your life.  Love you dearly, but it gets old. . .  I know you feel that way too.  Kids aren’t afraid to say so!  They have no guilt about not wanting to be with their parents. . .same is not easily said to be true in the reverse.

Now, though, my greatest wish would be to have a day wherein I do not have to play “referee”, or remind you to do your chores, or remind you to be considerate of others.

Oooh, or a whole day where you do not ask me what you can have for snack, or the infamous, “What is for dinner?”  (If we could merely cut the dinner question down to once per child that would be amazing!)  Better yet, a day where I do not have to decide what is for dinner!  I don’t mind cooking it, but I’m a bit sick of coming up with the menu.

A day where I see appreciation for others (especially your siblings), that would be lovely!

From my oldest child, who no longer lives at home, I would love a phone call.  Just one where you call to say “hi” and tell me what you are up to, and how you are doing.

Yep, those would be it; if one were to ask. . .

What would be yours?

Computer Caper

This is a follow-up to a previous post found here.

So this coming year I will be teaching computers, and because I truly do not like re-inventing the wheel, I thought I would look online for material.

To be perfectly honest, I was not expecting a lot.  I tend to find pieces/parts of things I like but it is rare indeed for me to settle onto a single item and declare it “good”.

So, you need to keep that in mind when I say I found a FANTASTIC computer literacy program!

Here’s the address:  http://www.jegsworks.com/Lessons/index.html

Please note, you can do the class on-line for FREE!

(For my class though, we will purchase teacher/student licenses, as I can too easily see kids saying, “Mrs. Christine our internet died and I couldn’t do my homework.”)

Now, in reference to my prior post. . .this online class far surpasses the college level computer technology course my son took!  I still have his books that he purchased for that course – for well over $100, that the college wouldn’t accept back - and they far exceed the material in there.  I have the memories of his gripes from that class because he said he didn’t learn anything that he didn’t already know. . .except for the computer tests that they took were so limited that if it asked you to copy and paste an item it would only take one of the multiple ways you could answer the question, and that was always a crap-shoot.

So, let’s think about that.

Cost for class at local college:  $366.  Cost for books:  @ $150 — we’ll just round it to $500 for a sub-par course. (per student)

OR $30 for teacher license and $5 per student license for a brilliant course.

Which makes you wonder at the amount we are paying for a piece of paper rather than for the actual knowledge gained. . .

Now, this course is from a “Windows” point-of-view.  However, you can certainly apply a good portion of it to Macs as well (and for Windows users you needn’t have a very specific OS or Office version).

Oh, and I will say the one thing I have currently found this course “lacking in” is teaching “internet safety”.  (It does discuss worms / Trojans / malware, etc. Yet, I was hoping for something more.)

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Too bad I can’t say the same about economics.

The one thing I can say about economics is that it seems as if there must be some unwritten law that all economics text producers adhere to.  Somewhere in the preface or forward of every text you will find some statement akin to, “Welcome to the exciting study of economics; it is not as dull as you may fear.”

Yet, the very first chapter of each book though will have you so thoroughly bored to tears that you will very quickly come to the conclusion that these authors are seriously warped.

*sigh*

Setting the Good Example, on accident

Yesterday evening I heard “growling” coming from my youngest son’s room, then Mikhail burst forth in a temper and raged,
“I’m STUPID!”

Which caused me to grab him sharply and say, “Hold up there, young sir, and tell me what this is about.  Because you know I’m not keen on you calling yourself ‘stupid’.”

He’d spent a good portion of the day working on a K’nex roller coaster and had discovered, to his dismay, that not only had he made a couple of minor mistakes but he made one major one as well.

“See!  I’m STUPID!”

Which caused me to take a sudden seat on his bed.

“I see.  Right.”

(pause)

“So, when Mommy made that massive mistake on your stocking, that I had spent years in the making. . . well, I guess that makes me completely stupid too.”

(pause)

“You know, everyone makes mistakes, ALL. THE. TIME.  Don’t you think it’s how we handle those mistakes afterwards that determines whether or not we are ‘stupid’?”

Blink. Blink.

At which point I walked away, because I could honestly think of nothing else to say.

This morning I heard sounds of destruction coming from Mikhail’s room, then his head popped out and he asked,

“Mom, can you please come in here and help me take this apart?”

So, I sauntered in to find the 1/2 completed roller coaster of yesterday in the midst of a demolition.

“Why are we taking this apart?”

“Well, my big mistake was at the beginning, and there were a couple of little mistakes after that.  I thought I would take it all apart and start new.”

Aside from the sound of pieces being torn apart there was silence for a bit.

Then, Mikhail piped up and said,

“Because only stupid people give up and don’t try to fix their problems.  And, Mommy?  We are not stupid.”

That, my son, is the truth.

(Stubborn, maybe.  But most assuredly not stupid.)

Me and My Big Fat Mouth

Someone asked me a question the other day,

“Where (or ‘how’) did you learn to do that?”

To which I think I responding something along the lines of. . .

Well, okay, I LIED.

Because if I were to be honest, my answer would be, for nearly every single circumstance, “I opened my big fat mouth.”

Please let it be known that said mouth opens wide without the okey-dokey of the brain upstairs.  In fact, I’m not even sure my neurons are fast enough to react to the speed at which my mouth will voice its thoughts.

And my boys are studying the human body this year, so I do realize how fast neurons transmit data. . .

My mouth has a tendency to say, “I can do that.”  My brain, at that instant, is so stunned at the audacity of the mouth not awaiting orders, that it goes on strike, so it is not until some time later that the brain decides to mentally chastise the mouth for opening up.  By then I’m stuck.  My mouth made a claim that I now have to make a reality.

That is the honest-to-goodness truth behind the where / how I learned to do anything such as power point, making videos, sewing (quilts & dresses), etc.

*sigh*

My brain is currently berating my blabber-mouth for saying, “Sure, I can do that.”  Except it seems to be holding a grudge this time and doesn’t want to play nice.

Now, I’m sitting here looking at this class I said I would create / teach, and I just want to run-away and hide.  Who would be insane enough to agree to this concept???

Oh, wait.  That would be me, and my big fat mouth.

Know Your Audience

So, last week I was asked to speak at co-op to the families.  According to our directory, there are 48 families. . . .and I don’t even know half of them.

I think I have just now recovered from the whole ordeal.

I despise talking in public!  I mean, forget knocking knees; we are talking sick stomach, nerves that will set my entire body into violent shakes, etc.  Worse, when I actually stand up to speak I have been known to break into tears.

Public speaking = one of my worst nightmares.

But, I did it; and it’s done.  Sometimes that is an answered prayer in and of itself.

Now some people, who erroneously think they are funny, keep coming up to me and suggesting that I teach public speaking next year.

Umm, not a chance in Hades!

However, as I have mentioned, I have had the “good fortune” (rolling eyes here) of being required to take public speaking in colleges not only once, or twice, but actually THREE times.  (Two separate colleges that just refused to accept that class from the college prior.)

One thing that was drilled into my head by my first “speech” teacher was to “know your audience”.

And, then, she assigned me to teach about selling Tupperware, to a class of 15 – only two of which were female and married.

Fast forward to last Friday, and I was going to talk about flaws in cross-stitch, as an object lesson related to God’s love.  I spent a good deal of time taking into account that 80-90% of those listening could care less about my topic or even the entire devotion time.  Based on the feedback I’ve received, I at least did a great job in considering my audience.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about text books for highschool.  The specific author / publisher brought up probably, in my opinion, produces one of the most DULL and uninteresting books available on the market.

OH. MY.

I mean when you start to imagine the voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher within the first paragraph, just to make it more interesting. . .You know you’re in trouble!

And I sat there and wondered. . .and I thought. . .and I considered many of the other publications out there on this topic (as well as others), and it suddenly occurred to me:

“Textbook publishers do NOT take into account their audience!”

NOT.  AT.  ALL.

In fact, if I were to look at most of these books closely, I bet I would find almost all of them are written to some “national standard” list.  Not actually written to inspire a student to learn.

Umm, except, I know it’s a newsflash and all, but a list of standards is NOT actually the *who* you should be writing to!  In fact, if that is truly what publishers are doing, then schools, you would be much better off just printing the standards from the various national standards sites, chucking them at your students and telling them there will be a test in 6 weeks.  Honestly, with books this dry, you’ll be giving the students just about as much. . .

What happened to generating interest?  Induce a DESIRE to learn.  Yes, some subjects will be drab to some people but, GEEZ, give the students a chance to be interested first!

I’m looking at curricula for next year’s class, and each book I’ve looked at thus far just inspires me to think that this particular work will make an excellent doorstop.

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In somewhat related news you may have noticed a lack of postings of late (i.e. the last year or so).  Well, this has arisen due to the fact that for the first time more of my blog audience actually knows my family.  I have thus been forbidden to speak of them, unless they give me specific permission.

They are very stingy on their permissions.

So, I suppose this blog needs to evolve. . .

A New Course

I have been asked to teach a new course at co-op next year.  A class entitled “MEC”.  (Which, I’m sure has everybody scratching their heads.)

Further, I was asked to come up with a course description which is as follows:

MEC                                                                                                                 (9-12)

MEC is a bold braid of money management, economics, and computer skills woven together to provide your student a firm grounding for real-world applications.  Students will be required to have ready access to a working computer at home which has word processing, spreadsheet and presentation programs.  An 8 GB thumb drive will be required for file storage and transfer.

Class fees: may range from $0.00 to $25.00 (depending on final curricula choice)

Prerequisites:  NONE

The one problem with this course description is that this course has yet to be created!  I personally believe they were attempting to assess my creative writing skills.  I mean, there certainly is no course-book out there with such information.  (There are many course-books for each bit, but not a single course-book for the combination.)

So, I have to come up with a course that combines the three areas into one, that presents it in an informative and “friendly” manner.  And most especially to keep it from being as dry as the Atacama Desert.

I have enlisted the aid of my father to help me.  That was probably the most brilliant move that has come out of this course plan since its conception.

‘Course, I’m driving him insane with email overloads.  Right about now, I’m thinking he’s feeling pretty grateful for the 500+ miles between us.  I think the idea that I might just drop in with a pile of books demanding coffee and time to “whittle” would put him over the edge.  When he realizes just how different my brain works from his, he may quit forthwith.

So, the challenge is on.  I have 6 months to create, from scratch, a year-long course.

Daddy dearest, do you have the coffee on?