I will admit to being a college graduate.
And, it’s funny, because I honestly feel that diploma was earned through a massive waste of time / energy and money. I do not hold college degrees in high regard. . .
Anyway, when I think back to my college years, trying to recall what it was that I was taught, I can generally only remember a couple of things. Oddly enough, most of those items were not learned in my major, nor were they necessarily taught as part of my coursework; rather, they tended to be mentioned in passing. . .
In one of my computer classes, my instructor was a business consultant. He was absolutely livid one day in class because he was being continually frustrated by the businesses that were contracting him. He said it was terribly rare for a business to contract him to determine “losses” and then for them to actually allow him to determine the losses.
That doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it? (My wording, I mean.)
For example, he said, it was terribly easy for him to determine a “symptom” of why they were losing money, but the businesses nearly always called the contract “complete” when he told them that, before he ever had the chance to find the “cause”.
Is that a little clearer?
My friend was feeling sick a while ago, just miserable. She decided she couldn’t bear it any longer, so went to her medicine cabinet, and found, therein, some unused antibiotics. Which she promptly started taking.
But, she was still feeling miserable so she went to the doctor. The doctor listened to her description of ill health and asked her what she had been doing to counter it. As soon as he found out she had started taking antibiotics he told her to leave. (Not quite like that, I’m sure.) The point he made was because she had started treating the symptoms with an antibiotic he could do nothing (testing, etc.) to determine what was actually wrong with her.
So, you see, that is a lesson I learned in college. It’s okay to see the symptom, but you need to actually determine the cause to fix it.
So, I mentioned yesterday a challenge with Drew.
I also mentioned how it is so much easier to deal with these problems when children are younger than when they are older.
For example, if my 2 year old snatches a toy from a sibling, I know it’s because they want that toy. The symptom (snatching) is directly related to the cause (wanting the toy).
This changes over time. . .and each “age” determines the complications involved.
The current symptom is that I caught Drew in a lie. I have that nailed down pretty good.
Jay, keeps after me telling I need to punish the child for lying. . .and in a way he’s correct.
But, the bigger problem is, for the life of me, I cannot determine why the child is lying. The “cause” is still very mysterious to me.
As of now, Drew is punished, for lying to me. And he has been informed that the punishment is subject to change once I figure out what is going on. . .
The reality is, though, I don’t know that I will find the cause, and that has me utterly frustrated.