Redefining My Life

I have spent the majority of the summer prepping for next co-op year.  Last week, it dawned on me that I really need to plan my family’s homeschool year.

I did that, and then I wanted to just burst out in tears because this year is going to be so rough.  (Or maybe I nearly burst into tears, because it is that hormonal time of month. . .)

Whatever the cause, I sat down and seriously evaluated my life, and I find myself amazed that I am still continually learning about myself, and how it relates to all that I do.

For example, I’m all about KISS (keep it simple, stupid).  But my idea of “simple” could be totally complicated to someone else.

A perfect example of this played out this morning.  A friend had asked me if I had study guides for some books she is planning to use.  She gave me a list of like 12-15 books.  It took me two hours to find the 8 guides that I did indeed have!  She is planning to use these books for literary discussion; however, I use them as part of my history.  So, all my guides are in chronological order first, then placed by geographic location, then by “ability”.  In order to find all these guides for her, I had to go through “time and space”.  She’s probably thinking I merely have them alphabetical in a binder. . .which would be quite simple.  However, mine are place in such a manner that when I pull the next book off my shelf, the study guide is right there. . . and I do things chronologically.  So, it’s set up “simply” for my purposes.

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I’ve also discovered I just don’t “get” girls.  Call me clueless, and I do truly feel weird about this, as I am a member of that gender. . .but I now understand why I was only blessed with boys.

If I were to liken girls to playground equipment, they would be the swings or the merry-go-rounds.  I find it intriguing that, just like those playground pieces, unseen forces can set the thing in motion.  That’s how I see girls.  And, don’t sit there and get all indignant on me!  Not once, did I say that was a bad thing!  It’s just an observation of the neutral variety.  (And, if you were a photographer, you would find it “whimsical” and take a photo.)

Boys, I would liken to a jungle gym or a slide.  And before anyone goes trying to say I’m implying “simple”; I’m really just trying for “straightforward” and maybe “steadfast”.  I totally get this!  Man, I could give oodles of analogies with boys and slides (or jungle gyms).

I could also see see-saws, but I could go either way with that.

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I am not a “swiper”.  Not in the cleaning arena, anyway.  If I’m going to clean, it better be “eat-off-able” when I’m done, or I’m wasting my time.  I don’t know if that is the military in me or what.  I don’t like to clean though, so it tends to only happen weekly (sometimes less often).

I am a “swiper” when it comes to picking up.  I’ll swipe things up and throw them in a hidden space to deal with later.  I do not like this about myself.

OH!  And there is totally a difference to “picking-up” and “cleaning”.  My husband considers things “clean” when they are picked-up.  To me, that is just disguised.  (Again, “eat-off-able” is clean.)

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I am completely “fried” by around 1900.  I am good for nothin’ after that time!  My brain ceases to function, my gumption was all used up. . .I. AM. DONE!  We were talking about this in our pool circle just yesterday, and most the people within our circle are night owls, so I think they were struggling to understand my being done by 7.  (I suspect they think I’m fudging a bit on the time; not knowing the slug my husband has to deal with in the evening.)

I am a morning person.  I can totally get up and go, no problem.

Well, it actually is a problem, as all my children are morning people too, and they want to get up by 0600.  The problem for me here, is that I truly enjoy “me time” in the morning, and while 0600 is perfectly fine for me, 0500 is a bit earlier than I would prefer.  I think I’m just going to have to get over that.  It will be much easier for me in the end to get up an extra hour early in the a.m. rather than to try to do anything after 1900.  (Because, “fried” is completely “toasty”.)

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I am a shy introvert.  This totally works against me socially.  Strangely enough, because people form perceptions about me simply because I don’t have anything to say.  Sadly, their perceptions tend to go along the lines of I “don’t like them”, “think they are stupid”, “am bored with whatever they have to say”.

I can’t even deal with this one.

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I am “slow”.  (My husband is a quick wit.  My wit, if I have one, is about 3-4 hours after the fact.)

This works in my favor, as many instances work themselves out before I can figure out how I want to tackle it.  For example, my son wants a motorcycle.  I know I don’t like the idea, but I don’t know how to approach it.  It is now two weeks after he brought up the subject and made the decision that he was going to get one, except he just saw the college charge, and suddenly I’m not hearing anything about the motorcycle anymore.

This works against me when my husband proposes a plan, and if he doesn’t hear me contest it 15 seconds after it has been proposed will go charge off to implement said plan.

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I am insecure.

I don’t know that this is actually a bad thing.  For example, I fear I will ruin my children by homeschooling them; thus, I work hard trying to do the best for them that I can.  Is it enough?  I honestly don’t know. . .  My gut says, “No, you aren’t doing enough.”  However, I can only do so much, and my older guys aren’t looking like they are worse for wear.

In fact, most instances where I feel insecure, I’m actually grateful.  It forces me to work harder.

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When it comes to school-work, I’m willing to be patient on my kids’ ability.  However, once the ability is there, if they wanna complain about the work load, I tell them to talk to the cats.  (The cats, honestly, can give the “who cares” look ever so much better than I.)

The book is not too long; 25 ( or even 50) math problems are not too many; and your hand won’t stop hurting until you build up tolerance.  I’m kinda mean and bull-headed about that.  After all are you going to whine to your boss?

This year is going to be “rough” because the boys’ ability has finally shown itself.

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So, I am discovering these things; and now I am in the process of using this knowledge to re-define my life (or how I choose to function in it).

This is going to be such a fun year!

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