I’d like to introduce you to a very close friend of mine, Insecurity. We have a knot that ties us together that is the result of a life-long bond. Through thick and thin, Insecurity has always been here with me.
My husband has been known to tell me on occasion that Insecurity plays with him also. This is akin to the puddle saying to the ocean, “Look, we are both bodies of water!” True, yet so vastly different as to be laughable.
It is interesting, because I am forever telling my children that they need to exude confidence. Mind you, I don’t tell them they need confidence, just that others need to perceive that they have it. Personally, I don’t believe that you can “create” confidence where none exists, but I do believe that you can fake it really well.
I also believe it is incredibly important to be able to fake it. People who appear confident are leaders. Others will listen, and follow, those that appear confident. And, regardless of whether or not confidence is a friend of yours, it is easy to fake.
So, I tell my children,
- “Stand up straight.”
- “Speak strongly and clearly.”
- “Look people in the eye.”
- “Give a firm handshake.”
This list seems overly simple, doesn’t it? Mmm-hmm. Take a look at all the leaders you know, and tell me in which of those areas they falter. And what’s amazing is that they could totally be faking it.
A few years ago a friend of mine gave me a book:
I picked it up to read it shortly after receiving it, but then put it quickly back down. The thing is, I don’t know that I want to be rid of insecurity; nor, do I necessarily feel that it has been “a bad friend”. In fact, I would argue that I am a better person because of my insecurities, not in spite of it.
Think about it for a minute. Because I am fellows with insecurity I question how I do things, I am constantly striving to improve. I question relationships and whether they will make me stronger. I question all the whys and hows and wherefores in an effort to excel. (The trick, I will readily admit, is knowing when to stop.)
Go a step further: How many “naturally confident” people do you know that need a book entitled, “Lose your confidence, because you have no reason to believe you’re that good.”
I seem to know a number of people like that. . . Personally, I think they lack something that allows them to feel the insecurity they should.
Insecurity and I are off to play today. We are going to try something new and different in our school day and I’m looking forward to seeing how it pans out. I’ve already picked my pen so I can write notes on how to improve in the margins.